A quick update

I realized I really haven’t had time to blog in a bit, and so I figured that I would catch up.  Things are going pretty well for me right now.  My spring break was nice.  I went to Florida with my parents and my sister to see my brother march with the Lakeshore Lancers Marching Band in Disney.  He did a great job and didn’t even flinch as we screamed his name as he passed by.  He’s lucky to have us.  For the rest of the week, we visited a few of the Disney parks, enjoyed our resort, and soaked up as much sun as possible.  It was relaxing, but I’m glad to not be sharing a small hotel room with my parents, sister, and eventually my brother (who came home with us so he could have some extra time in Florida).

I’ve managed to keep up with weight watchers now for the last 8 weeks.  I’ve lost almost 20lbs since starting WW, and almost 30lbs since the first of the year.  I’m having mixed feelings about this.  Of course, I’m so excited, happy, and proud of myself for the weight loss.  I’ve never lost this much weight before.  I still don’t really see a difference in my actual features, but I see myself everyday, so I guess that’s not so surprising.  On the other side, who knew how expensive it would be to lose weight?  Seriously, between paying for weight watchers, the gym, and buying new clothes as mine no longer fit, this is getting expensive.  I never really thought about the cost, especially of the clothes before.  I love that I am down a size, maybe even a size and a half, but I wish I didn’t have to pay for new clothes.  My mom even took pity on me today and paid for a pair of work pants for me since I only have 1 pair that fit.  Oh well, school is out in 8 weeks, and then it will be easier because I can do laundry more often, and only wear jeans/capris.  Until then, I think I’m stuck with some very baggy and awkward pants.

I’m almost done with another grad school class.  I have to go to GR on Tuesday, and then my final is due online only.  I’m looking forward to not having to spend the extra $25 in gas for the next couple weeks.  Then I start summer classes.  I’m a little nervous about that, especially taking two classes and finishing up the school year.  I have an online class that will last all summer and I will have another class going for both Summer I and Summer II as well.  I’m mad that I’ll only be at 18 credit hours by the end of the summer (I need 20 for a raise), but it is what it is.  Who knows, maybe I’ll find a way to work it out.

Other than all of that, I am just working on finishing up the school year.  I only have about 24 days left with my seniors, and I think that counts their senior class trip and retreat, so it’s more like 19.  I’m excited to be so close to the end, but I still feel like there is so much more to teach them.  It’s the same every year.  Either way, I’m looking forward to the 5 day weekend I have for Easter and the 3 day school week following it.  Thank God for Catholic schools 😉

11 days, and counting

In 11 days, I will be leaving in my parents’ van for Orlando, Florida.  I’m not going to lie and pretend that this is my number one choice of vacations; however, as they say, beggars can’t be choosers.  I’m pretty sure that my parents are unaware that there are locations other than Orlando to go on vacation.  To be fair to them, my little brother will be marching in a parade with the band at Magic Kingdom (yep, been there, done that).  My parents invited my sister and I along and have offered to help us cover pretty much everything in order to make this possible.  Thanks to current grad school for me, and upcoming grad school for Sara, we’re both a bit skint.

The plan is to drive as far as possible on Friday and arrive in Orlando sometime Saturday afternoon.  Yep, we drive.  My parents would give you all kinds of excuses, but here is my understanding:  my mom has a fear of puking on the plane (heaven forbid she take something like Dramamine to stop this from happening) and my dad fears pilots who know nothing about the mechanics of a plane (read fear of heights here?  Maybe).  Of course there are some benefits to driving, such as the ability to visit the National Corvette Museum on the way home.  Okay, that sounded a bit snarky.  In truth, I enjoyed the museum the first time we went.  It wasn’t even so bad the second.  But this will be my forth time going now.  Nothing ever changes.  It’s not like you can actually drive the cars- it’s a museum; you can’t touch!

Enough negative though.  I am really looking forward to warmer weather.  I didn’t think that a spring break was going to be possible for me this year thanks to my current financial situation and the fact that Kara and her stupid Texas school had spring break 3 weeks before  me so there was no way I could go down to visit her.  Now I am looking forward to laying out pool side and sleeping, a lot.  I need this break.  It’s been a really long winter.  Warm weather and laziness is definitely called for.  When I come back from break I will have a crazy April.  We only have 12 days of class in April.  Then we have a week of class and then the seniors go on their class trip.  Then about another week of class before they are done!  It’s crazy and it’s going to go quickly.  I just keep telling myself to make it to break.  So 11 days, and counting.

Bad Mood

These last two weeks have been pretty rough for me.  My students are grumpy.  Spring break is too far away for them (or me) to really look forward to, and we don’t have any days off before it.  They are getting feisty, and I’m getting frustrated.  To make matters worse, the weather got deliciously warm for a couple days, only to bring us back snow and cold, windy, gray days.  Blech.

I’m taking the day off tomorrow.  I’ve been so exhausted this week that yesterday I came home and slept for 3 hours, then got up, had dinner, made my lunch for today, and went to bed.  It’s ridiculous.  I need to re-energize.  I know that I’m not teaching as well as I could.  I am burnt out.  Thus the day off.  I kind of don’t even care that my sub is a sweet but very old man who never follows my lesson plans- no matter how simple they are.  Whatever, the band will be at festival all morning so very little productive work will be happening.

I need an attitude adjustment.  I need to remember why I do this.  Oh, and some sleep probably wouldn’t hurt either. I am going to enjoy some me time tomorrow, clean up my apartment, and work on my grad school presentation.  Then I am going to enjoy my nice long weekend.  This is going to be my low stress, all about me weekend…well at least that’s the goal.

14 days later

I started Weight Watchers two weeks ago.  It feels like it’s been longer; I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.  I’ve lost 8.2 lbs so far on weight watchers and have lost a total of 15 lbs this year.  That’s amazing for me.  The last time I lost this much weight was after I moved home after college graduation.  It’s amazing what the combination of summer, home cooked meals versus frozen, and a need to get out of the house can do for a person.

Although I’m really proud of how I’m doing, I’m frustrated by the fact that I can’t see or feel more of a change.  A few of my pants seem to be fitting looser, but not too significantly.  It seems like there should be a bigger difference.  I’ve lost inches off my waist, my hips, everything…not a ton, but it’s a start.  I guess patience never was my virtue.  I wish I could fast forward a year to see how I’m doing to make sure it’s worth it.  Now I know that sounds crazy.  Duh it’s worth it.  Hello, 15 lbs.  But in my head I’m already wondering if I’ll be down a size by the high school graduation.  I’m checking gap.com to see when I can start buying my pants at trendier locations.  Jumping the gun much…uh I think so.  This is how my brain works though.  Because of this need for results, I can’t help but wonder if I’m sabotaging myself a little bit.  I’m not using all my daily points, which is fine, but some days I have almost 20 left.  That’s like half of what I get.  This is not the way the program was meant to work- you can use all your points and at least maintain, but mostly likely lose.  I need to calm down and go with the flow.  I was happy to see a 5 lb weight loss this week, but it was a little scary too.  There’s no way to keep that up.  I can’t set my standards that high.  I know that about 2 lbs a week is a healthy loss, much more than that and you’re losing muscle mass.  Not good.  If I could just convince my overly competitive ego of this, my life would be a little calmer.

So what are my plans.  My goals for this week are to actually try to cook one of the weight watcher recipes (I’ll be keeping it simple since I can’t cook) and to go to the gym at least 3 times.  I have been neglecting my “activity”; it hasn’t mattered so far, but it will soon.  Plus, no one wants to pay for a gym membership they aren’t using.  I also need to just allow myself to relax and get used to this.  This isn’t a quickie diet; it’s a life style shift.  At least that’s my goal.

Temptation…at a Blood Drive?

Let me start this post by stating this has nothing to do with vampires, supernatural creatures, or anything else that has been recently “over done”.

Yesterday I spent my day overseeing the Key Club blood drive.  Twice a year, Key Club sponsors a blood drive at the school.  The kids LOVE blood drive day.  They can’t wait to sign up to donate, oh and to get out of school for anywhere from 40 minutes to an hour.  It takes a bit of organizing leading up to the event, but the day of, my job is to sit around for 8 hours and keep an eye on our students.  The volunteers help with the canteen, getting students out of class, and dancing around in the Ruby suit (it’s a giant blood drop, and they love it).  I just watch them.  An adult representative from the high school has to be present to keep the volunteers in line, but also to help if any of the kids get light-headed, etc. after giving.

The natural place for me to spend my day is at the canteen.  It’s out of the way, and away from the blood.  I do okay around blood, but I don’t love it.  I just try to avoid focusing on it.  You know what is at the canteen?  Food.  Lots of food.  And all this food is to help raise a person’s blood sugar after (or before) donating.  While there are apples, bananas, and oranges, there are also donuts, muffins, cookies, juice, and soda.  Not to mention bagels and cream cheese (a favorite of mine).  So here I am, week 1 of weight watchers, staring down a table of junk food for more than 8 hours.  I’m not going to lie, it wasn’t easy.  I stared down the donuts and the bagels, and although I wanted them, I resisted.  I hadn’t really thought about this problem leading up to the blood drive, but then again the last time I sat there and ate, and told myself it was okay, because I also donated (and I did get light headed, so I did need some sugar).

I’m pretty proud that I was able to resist all the junk food, although in order for full disclosure, I will admit to eating a handful and a half of popcorn from the girls’ basketball game.  I also had the image of one student spurting blood after she finished donating to help keep me in line- I have no idea how it happened, but it’s a visual that will last.  She was fine, in fact she’s taking a class to prepare her for a career in medicine and when she looked down and saw blood all over herself, she just put her other hand over it and walked back over to the nurses.  (I however was working on keeping my gag reflex in check).

At the next blood drive, I will be mentally prepared for dealing with all the treats, and maybe I’ll be used to dieting enough to try to donate again without worrying about getting light headed.

Weight Watching…

I’ve written a few times about working on being healthier.  Today I took the next step.  I joined weight watchers.  I have thought about joining many times beginning in college and continuing on through present day.  Finally, a few friends at work started it up, and they love it.  They sounded really excited when they were telling me about their experiences, and the friend who had been using it for a while has been successful thus far.  Even though it will put more strain on my already stretched budget, I decided that this was something that I have to do.

I’m not going to lie, day 1 was pretty intimidating.  Before you join, you can’t see much of their vast website.  Once you’re on there, it’s crazy.  There are so many different pages and articles and trackers (weight, measurements, activity, food, etc.) that it’s just overwhelming.  It’s also a huge pain trying to figure out how each food you eat translates to points.  For example, I had a turkey sandwich for dinner.  I had to count the bread, the miracle whip, the cheese, the mustard, and the turkey.  It all worked out okay though, and I still have about 10 points left for my day, not to mention the fact that I earned 6 points for working out.  Not too shabby.  I do think that work will be more of a challenge.  I’m seriously going to have to carefully pack every meal, and for the first few weeks it might suck a bit, but if it works, then it will all be worth it.

Uh, thanks Mom…

Let me start this post by saying that I do love my mom.  Although we’ve had our rough times, and we don’t agree on everything, she is someone that I trust and that I am the”real” me around.  She and I have become closer during my “young adult” years, and I respect her opinion, although I don’t always agree.  The problem is that my mom doesn’t seem to listen.

Mothers are supposed to love their children no matter what, and my mom is pretty good at that.  She accepts her kids for what they are.  She supported my decision to become a teacher, knowing that I would never be a millionaire, because she knew it would make me happy.  She even allowed me to live at home for the first two years of my job rent-free to help me out.  I couldn’t do what I do or be who I am without her.  That said, I think that she holds me back sometimes.

Recently, I have been working on losing weight and living a healthier life.  I have shared my feelings with her about this, and it’s a struggle that she can understand if not completely relate to.  However, she really doesn’t seem to be taking my changes seriously.  Since I have started my diet and work out schedule, my mother has invited me to dinner with my family 3 times.  This is nice of them.  I appreciate being thought of, especially since I’m the only one not living at home.  However, they keep inviting me to Culver’s for the various fundraiser nights.  I truly doubt there is anything healthy to eat at a place that boasts the “butter burger”.  Besides that, it’s not a restaurant that I enjoy even when I’m not watching what I eat.  No matter how much I tell my mom this, she continues to invite me out to this place.

Okay, so you might be thinking…jeez this ungrateful girl.  Her mom is trying to spend time with her and is inviting her out and she’s whining.  Yep, I agree.  Except, she also tries to tempt me with various unhealthy snacks every time I go over there and asks if I want to take some “groceries” home.  She just doesn’t get it.  I want to believe that it is because she doesn’t see me on a regular basis and so she doesn’t see the changes I’m trying to make.  Weight loss, at least for me, is a slow process of reteaching myself everything I thought I knew about food and portions, and so much more.  It’s not like I’ve dropped 50lbs or something in 7 weeks.  Not even close.  But it’d be nice to feel supported.

Your mom is supposed to help you through your struggles and have your back.  I wish my mom would be on my side for this and support me instead of tempting me.  I have a feeling spring break with my family is going to be really rough on my new lifestyle.

Starting Up Again…

Since the first of this year, I have been working hard trying to be healthier.  I have been watching what I eat to figure out where I’m going wrong, watching my proportion sizes, and trying to work out.  All that went down hill about two weeks ago.  I was starting to feel sick.  In fact, I was wheezing (like asthma) during workouts.  It wasn’t so bad that I couldn’t actually breathe, but it was uncomfortable.  I went to the doctor and got an inhaler (my old one had gone bad- I really don’t need it unless I’m sick).  The doctor looked at me like I was crazy when I explained why I was in to see her.  She told me that I really didn’t have any symptoms but filled the prescription anyway.  About a day and a half later I was developing a chest cold.  Take that doctor.  Anyway, so I thought I would take a short break from working out…well that was the plan.  Between not feeling great, snowpocolyse 2011, and just being a bit down thanks to too many grey, cold, nasty days in a row, I ended up taking 12 days off of the gym.

So here I am now, trying to get started again.  12 days seems like such a short time, but it was enough for me to lose what I had been working for.  Don’t get me wrong.  I was still eating healthy, so I haven’t gained any weight back, but at the same time, I wasn’t dramatically losing anything either.  Plus I have all the fun of being sore again.  My first day back, I was so happy to see that I could get close to my previous pace on the treadmill.  I walked 2.5 miles in 45 minutes (not super impressive, but I’m really out of shape).  Then I went shopping with my sister.  It was hard to walk.  I was sore already the same day.  The next day, Saturday, I didn’t go to the gym because I was so sore.  I did do pilates at home, but still.  So then today I went to the gym again.  And here I am again, sore from my 45 minute walk.

Hopefully I’ve learned my lesson.  I cannot take this many days off and expect to just be okay.  I’m going to have to work hard to get back to where I was.  That’s okay; I’m going to do it.  I just wish I didn’t have to go through being sore again.

For Joli

A friend told me I needed to blog more, and I know she’s right, so this is for her.  This week has been a little insane, and it’s only Wednesday.  The high school band has gone to Florida to preform at Disney, so we had to decide what to do with the left-over kids.  Back before Christmas break, my friend Laura and I decided that we would take control of the week.  Two years ago, the last time the band went, things were a little disorganized, and we wanted to have a bigger input.  So we set out to come up with two days of interesting and useful activities for the kids.  We ended up going to Notre Dame University on Monday to have a tour of the basilica, see the grotto, and go to mass.  The basilica (another name for the church- it’s below a cathedral but above a “church” or something like that) is absolutely beautiful.  The kids and I were amazed to find out that the museum attached (a room that’s probably about the size of my apartment, maybe a little smaller) is insured for $100 million.  That just seems so crazy!  The kids were really well-behaved and I couldn’t ask for more.  I don’t know that it was their dream trip or anything, but I was happy about it.

Tuesday our students’ trip was to Five Pines Ministries.  They do a lot of cool team-building type activities.  I was with half of the sophomores and all of the seniors (the grades I teach).  I had a blast.  I was a little disappointed at first with the chaperoning situation (Laura was out sick, and Jeff had other things he wanted to get done and had been told he could skip).  I was in charge of this trip.  I had made all the calls, set up the transportation, and put several hours into making sure that this trip was fun.  Then I was really disappointed to see how few of the kids wanted to go.  It was disheartening to listen to how this trip I had spent so much time on was going to “suck”.  At the last minute, three of the girls who were signed up and had paid to go on the trip decided not to go so they could stay back, work on collages for our S.C.E.N.E. auction, and watch movies.  I was pissed the morning that we were going.  When we got to 5 Pines, we regrouped.  Originally we had 4 groups with 1 chaperon each; now we had 2 groups with 2-3 chaperons.  That made my day a little better.  I got to spend the day with Linda.  I also had GREAT kids.  They were well-behaved for the most part and tried everything.  We started off with the team building activity.  The kids were “lost” and had to build a fire.  The seniors jumped in and worked hard and had a fire going in 20 minutes (they had 45).  The sophomores, who had an Eagle Scout, were not so lucky.  They couldn’t get their team to work together.  In the end, a few of the seniors helped the sophomores so they were able to succeed as well.  Next my group went tubing.  5 Pines has a 400 ft tubing hill with 5 different slides.  Linda and I went twice before getting faces full of snow and just watching, but the kids had a great time.  I was also surprised to realize I was having such a fun time.  I mean, it was about 18 degrees out, but I was watching my kids relax and have a good time, and I was stress free, I just let go of everything.  After lunch (and a quick warm up) it was time to go cross country skiing.  My only experience doing this was in 5th grade, and I remember having fun, but that’s about it.  I got my skis on and began, and fell within the first 400 feet.  That was about par for the course.  I did okay on the straight aways, was fine going up hill, but downhill was a disaster.  I must have fallen 7 or 8 times, each time laughing louder than the last.  I honestly don’t remember the last time I laughed so hard.  Probably when Kara was home and we decided that we needed to use up some of the alcohol in my fridge.  It was really a great day.  It’s funny that continuously falling was such a great moment for me.  The writer in me is begging to make all kinds of metaphors for life and challenges and directions…blah blah blah…I’ll hold myself back.  I am just happy that things turned out the way they did.  I’m glad we didn’t force kids to go who weren’t interested.  They would have ruined the moment.

The rest of my work week is being taken up by professional development.  Today we learned about our strategic plan for the next 5 years…most of it was financial stuff.  I’m honestly not sure how that helped me as a teacher.  In fact I’m sure it didn’t, but if they feel better having told me that the school needs more money, fine.  We also were able to see some of the capabilities of Smart Boards.  I have my concerns about tomorrow.  The agenda didn’t look promising for our “staff retreat”.  We are scheduled to have “time with Jesus”.  Seriously.  I think that my dread of this is just another wake up call that a Catholic school is not where I belong.  The idea of spending a day praying with my co-workers makes me incredibly uncomfortable.  I feel that prayer is intensely personal and I don’t like being told when to pray, how to pray, or what to pray for.  Maybe tomorrow will be fine, but I guess I will  have to wait until then to find out.

I’m looking forward to the weekend.  I’m going to try to begin going to the gym again (I haven’t gone in a week and a half due to illness and blizzard and although being lazy can be nice, I miss it).  I’m also going to get a purse that zips so I stop losing  things in my car every time I chuck my purse in.  Yea for TJ Maxx.  Mostly, I’m looking forward to having a 3 day weekend to enjoy myself and maybe catch up with my family, see some people, and oh, do my taxes.  Yep, I know you’re jealous of my wild and crazy life.  Right.

Working Hard, Making Changes

When my sister told me that she might move back in with our parents after graduation, I promised her that if she did, we would join a gym together.  Both of us had gained some weight over the fall/early winter, and neither of us are close to our healthy weight range.  Sara moved home, and we began contacting and comparing local gyms.  It actually didn’t take that long (there are only 3 in the area).  On January 4th we joined Anytime Fitness.  Our other choices were the local YMCA or South Shore Health and Racket Club.  South Shore was WAY out of our price range, and the Y costs about $12 more a month.  Anytime Fitness it was.

It hasn’t been easy.  I hurt, almost all the time.  I use the Elliptical, the treadmill, sometimes the bikes, and the weight equipment.  Although I’ve been working out with friends after school at the LMC gym on and off for the last few years, I don’t think I was really pushing myself or getting in shape.  We also rarely took part in cardio workouts.  So I lift decent weights, but I almost died the first day on the Elliptical.

I have been noticing some positive changes over the last 3 weeks.  I no longer almost die on the Elliptical.  In fact I can last 30 minutes.  My speed is pathetically slow, but it’s getting better.  I have lost 5 lbs.  Although that is not a huge amount, it feels good to see the scale going down from my efforts.  I’m also keeping measurements.  So far the change has been minimal, but I’m in this for the long-term (hopefully), so a quarter of an inch here and there is perfectly okay for right now.

My biggest concern right now is whether or not I’m going to be able to keep this up.  Quite honestly, although I’m forcing myself to go to the gym at least 4 times a week, I really have to work on my food habits as well.  I have considered joining Weight Watchers, but my budget is not unlimited.  Also, I am tired when I finish work, and I’m not sure how much longer I’ll be able to force myself to go.  The thing is, once I’m actually at the gym, it’s not so bad.  Plus, I feel good (tired and sore, but good) when I leave.  It’s all just a big psychological fight with myself.

I wanted to blog about this because I am proud of how I’m doing.  I know that 5 lbs isn’t a huge deal, and I could gain it back easily if I gave up now, but it’s been a long time since I really tried to lose weight, and I like seeing the scale going down.  I’ve set a reachable goal for myself.  I want to lose 15lbs (and keep it off) by spring break (April 1st).  I’ve also decided that if I manage to do this I will buy myself a cute outfit to go clubbing in while in Florida.  I didn’t want a goal without a reward.

I think that I will continue to use this blog as a way to keep track of my progress.  So far, it’s going well.